Once upon a time, I decorated signs to sell homemade lemonade…then created posters for an middle school student body campaign…then designed logos for my various sports teams and invitations for parties and for causes that I found important. Design became the thing that I did — and loved to do more than anything else — outside of school and work. So, I pursued it and it became the thing I did for work. And that I still continued to do outside of work, too.
Eventually, I launched my own studio — realizing the goal of loving my work…while simultaneously pursuing other things (namely/mostly, travel) outside of work. I enjoyed the collaborations and challenges that came with every new client and project AND I loved dedicating one month to travel every year. With a laptop and an internet connection, I was kept working in the passenger seat while my wanderlust was at the wheel. Working-while-traveling was fabulous. It didn’t affect business much either…or so I thought.
After a several years operating with this M.O., one year, I skipped that one little month of travel. During that time, I landed my first retainer client, then shortly after that, another. I then hired more staff and my consultancy started really taking off. I had no reservations about investing more time and resources because of the results. After going along at this increased steady clip for a while, my bandwidth shrank radically whenI became a parent. To better balance motherhood with my studio, I limited my project load load, reduced my staff, and only kept a few clients after relocating abroad.
En route to daycare one morning, I noticed the crooked parts. After combing my son’s hair and doing my daughter’s Princess Leah style braids/buns — lice prevention at its best — I realized both had with a crooked part. Too late to redo and still be on time. This thought immediately triggered something I’d recently heard and that had resonated with me: how you do one thing is how you do everything. Is this possibly true? Is this a good thing? Am I “leaning in” or out when I leave the part crooked? This inner/outer judgment question circled my brain. Is the enemy of good better? It sparked the memory of my mom braiding my hair (and my 2 sisters’ hair) and that somehow, someway, we survived our crooked parts…even though, if memory serves, we unbraided our hair before we even left the house. Sorry mom!
My goal is accepting the liminality that comes with letting go of what could/would/should be but is –decidedly and perfectly– not. I’m a parent and entrepreneur but cannot do both perfectly and simultaneously AND still be of sound mind and body…and still be the partner, sister, daughter, spouse, friend, client, consultant, confidante, and athlete that I’d like to be.
So, The Crooked Part remains…but, knock wood, no lice.